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vietmee
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PostSubject: when your parents divorce :(   Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:57 pm

I've been thinking about if my parents ever divorced...I know that I wouldn't be able to hold that...
i think that when parents divorce, it would ruin your family members. And 'where else would the kids go? 'What would they be able to do in this situation?' what choices would the kids have..
My teacher last year told my classmates that when parents marry, they vow to stay together forever until death. But i can see that if they divorce, they would be breaking their vow and they kids hearts (and the whole family). I probally think that i wouldnt be able to talk for a longgg time if this situation did happen. Actually, my parents kinda fight about REALLY random things almost about ever week. So I'm kinda worried wat would happen next. Honesty, I think that a divorce is the stupidest (no offense..really) thing parents would do......-.-

Can anyone think of any advices that would help to get over the depression if this did happen?



(I wonder if this is a good section of the forum to talk about this..xD)
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joysan
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PostSubject: joysan   Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:00 pm

Is dificult....you thinks is your fault...
is dificult explain.....
is sad...
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sweetcake
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:04 pm

I think divorce is sometimes a good option, because the parents' relationship can get so bad that it affects the life of their children. Sometimes divorce is inevitable. xD

Oftentimes, when parents divorce, they think about the children first and what's best for them. Sometimes the parent would want to divorce but they stay together just for the children and they end up being able to cooperate with each other even though the love is no longer there. I think it's easier to get along with friends than lovers, you know. That kind of thing.

I don't know how to cope with depression if your parents do divorce...most of my friends have parents that divorced at an early age, so they don't really remember much of what happened. :/ My only advice is to go with the flow. Accept it. You can't change it.
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mariagrazia
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Fri Apr 04, 2008 7:43 am

i don't know..really..i'm very lucky because my parents are the 'italian copule' toghether from 20 years... so i relly don't know what means have divorced parents
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siva
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:39 pm

you're right... divorce is a big problem ...the side which get hurt are children...but what can we do this is the life, sometime it's happy and sometime it's sad...
my advise for you is don't think about it let it be and live you're life and don't let this problem effect on you. smile
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Realitie
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:20 am

My parents divorced when I was 12, and honestly, it was the best decision. They were always fighting and my father wasn't exactly the single-woman type of guy which added more stress to the household. My younger bro was very sad but I was actually, well, relieved. It was harder having to live in that situation than away from one of my parents.

I'm not a fan of the idea of divorce, but in some situation it IS the best option when its hurting everyone (including the children)
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woda
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:28 am

i lucky my parents are still together
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lkai
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:16 pm

my parents are divorced. i stay with my mom cuz my dad married someone else >.>
but he still come home sometimes to see how we're doing. i hate it when my dad made my mom sooo sad Dx i never even seen my mom cry before until they were fighting one night..
i wasnt sad... only angry that my dad made my mom suffer for so long Dx he only come home like 2-3 times a week.. thats no different from before .. so it didnt change much
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cavinggirl
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:14 am

My parents got divorced when I was about 10. They never argued in front of us though so, although it was a surprise, we had no unpleasant times to live through beforehand. We stayed with my Dad (pretty unusual..there were 4 of us kids) and my Dad supported my Mom while she went back to school. They always maintained a good relationship and when my Dad remarried my stepmom and mom got along too. Now I feel like i have 2 mothers - I love them both. I know I've been really lucky in my divorce experience but even so I made a vow when I got married that I wouldn't get divorced. That I would work to make my marriage work...almost 20 years now.
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~*~Love_Ticking~*~
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:14 am

Woah if my parents divorced it would sure make family complicated for sure cuz my
mother love to spend money alright (hate that part of her the most) luckly they are
still together or things would go crazy in my life by now! lol!
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chocoholic
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Mon May 19, 2008 7:07 am

i guess in such a case its the hardest for the children. parents must make sure that their child understand and make sure they show their love...that kind of scar doesnt really disappear i guess
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flop
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Sun May 25, 2008 2:22 am

My dad died so I never have to worry about my parents divorcing.

I think although it's hard on the children, the situation which leads to divorce may be complex. Such as a loveless marriage, abuse, adultery and many other problems. Generally, all parties involved suffer whether it be during the course of settling the divorce or after.

Of course, possibly the best solution would be to stay together until the children are old enough to accept and understand the complex.
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shinjou
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Sun May 25, 2008 10:24 am

that depends actually. usually kids would feel that it's their fault that the parents are divorced because sometimes when they fight, they bring the children into their problems like 'you cant educate your children properly' or 'it's not my fault they turn that way, after all you're never there for them'. dont think that just because it happens in mangas, it doesn reflect real life situation, cause it's what happens.

divorce happens when the parents cannot compromise themselves with each other any longer. they have forgotten the reason they're together, whether it's out of love, or something else.

it's not always the kids fault that it happens. kids are not meant to witness their parents' fights, neither to hear the words that comes out from their mouth. it could cause the kids to get more depressed and might kill themselves in the end because they think that it's their fault for being there between the parents causing them grief or any of that negative feelings.

there's no definite suggestion in how to cope with it when it happens. i've witnessed my parents fight over small or big things. most of all, causing my mother to cry all the time. in all cases, my dad never wanted to apologise since he felt that he's the right one. surprisingly, they never divorced until now (haleluya, praise the Lord) because my mother stays firm in keeping the family together.

it needs patience and lots of prayer if you want the family to stay together, cause other than that, you cant rely on your feelings or anyone else but yourself and your family. you might share it with your friends, but since they have different views towards the problem, you might feel out of the world or out of place since they dont share the same feelings as you are.

stay positive, be patient and pray a lot so it wont happen to you.
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eternal_moon
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Sun May 25, 2008 6:26 pm

I dont think divorce is really that complicated. I knew it well since my real parent already divorce. At first, you might felt really sad and sometime even cry, but when you get used to it, it doesnt make any different. If you are lucky, you will get a good step parent, if you are not, try to bare until you are grown up and move aways from them! That all I could said... Of course, when my mother remarried, I lived with my sister therefore I don't feel as sad, though, have to admit, I did cried. +___^- But after a years or so, I gotten used to it and move in with my mum. At first, it not really comfortable to live with your step, but somehow you will managed and get on with it ( morelike get used to it ) happy
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chibified
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Mon May 26, 2008 5:30 am

my parents are divorced and i think it's alright. actually usually it's for the better. life goes on anyhow. but i guess mine is a pretty civil divorce so it's okay. and time heals all wounds, so though sometimes you can get random bouts of sadness, you'll get over it eventually.
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naki
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Mon May 26, 2008 6:44 am

i wish my parent could get a divorced
sometimes is really better when they really can not be with each other. i hate to see them fate everyday for just stupid things besides, i know they don't feel love anymore, neither friendship
i understand it must be difficult to take such a decision (and money) but sometimes i wish they could think about me and how i feel about it.
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etineski
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PostSubject: not applicable here   Mon May 26, 2008 8:16 am

oh welp, in our country divorce is not applicable yet, since we have a die-hard catholicism and political issues.. oh welp.. annulment is ok here.. but then divorced is like tooo bad..
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KaOz
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:55 am

My parents got divorced when I was ten. I am really happy that they are not together anymore. Sometimes it is a lot better for the kids and also for the parents to get sperated. In the beginning it is difficult because you have to decide if you want to life with your mom or your dad but in the end it is really peaceful....
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wookie0215
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Thu Aug 21, 2008 3:23 pm

Divorce is tough on some younger kids but when my parents divorced I don't think it effected me as much. Because my father was abusive to my mother and I felt it was within her rights to get out of that type of relationship. Honestly, I think marriage is outdated, maybe because I am so jaded by the divorce rate, why do people bother to marry anymore?
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Kyoshiro
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:24 am

My mom wanted to divorce my stepfather about for 4 years, but I was holding them back because of sister.
But finally I gave up and retreated it later because I though I with sister would stay together.
Anyway I'm fine with it now
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wasserjungfrau
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:34 pm

My parents divorced two years ago.
My father has moved to another place and now I live with my mother and two sisters.
Maybe you'll think that I'm stupid or strange but without my father is much better and we are happy sad
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Karol_Campos
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:46 am

That's sad :/
My parents arent divorced but my father lives in another state :/
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ryoryo
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PostSubject: Re: when your parents divorce :(   Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:06 pm

Sorry for those with divorced parents. All i can say to you all is to be strong. Sometime divorce is the only answer for certain married couples. It is hard to understand and hard to accept the fact but u need to learn along the way. Things are not perfect and sometimes they are good and useful in their own way. For the eldest, you have the most responsibility if u have siblings. Make sure that you are there for them and assure that things will be okay. Make them understand that you are still there for them.

My friend recently also going through a very tough time and she is the eldest. It was so hard for her as i can still see her crying quietly at the corner in certain places. Luckily she managed to pull it through. Well, as for her siblings, things are going well between them since she keeps in touch with them. She is a college student actually and away from her home. So you might have guessed when the incident happened..it happened during her final term..what a timing. So as a friend, you do have responsibility as well in keeping company with her and offer her your comfort. But my friend well, she hated people to know about her family status as she does not want people to feel sorry for her. It was good though for her. As a friend, you can't expect people to keep offering you words of comfort and their time. Sometime u need to settle things and sort out your problems by yourself.

So all, learn to be strong. Be a useful people to others in those hard times if possible.
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